Secret of 'Happy'ness

Just imagine how easy it is to get addicted to anything that satisfies you... That makes you happy... Be it shopping, drinks , chocolates, junk food , love , sex , anything under the sun ... Why is that we find it tough to get addicted to Happyness? Just imagine .. It just needs one moment in life to be happy .... And the rest is all about keeping on feeling again and again and again that you need to be happy... Like an addiction... Shall I put it this way " THE SECRET OF HAPPYNESS IS TO GET ADDICTED TO IT" .....as simple as that .

Scent of a Woman

Is that a heart thing...

Bharathi Kanda Pudumaip Penn ( The New age Woman as visualised by Bharathiar)

This is Bharathi kanda Pudumaip Penn:

"Nimirntha nannenjum naer konda paarvaiyum
Nilathinil yaarukkum anjaatha nerigalum
Thimirntha gnanach cherukkum iruppadhaal
Semmai maadhargal thirambuvathillaiyaam"

"With upright heart and steadfast look and ideals that are not afraid of anyone in the world- the woman does not falter as she has the possession of wisdom."

I feel, my dear Bharathi... You also should have defined the Man who would be the perfect match to these women.. In my words, the ideal man would be

"Annimirndha nannenjai anbaal aravanaithu
Nerkinda paarvayil than uruvathai nilaippaduthi
Aval thimirndha gnaanach cherukkil thilaithu maginzhndhu
Ach chemmai magalai manaiviyaagak kondaadi
Yendrendrum inbamaai.. Vaazhkkaye Inidhaai....

The man - who, embraces her upright heart with his love; In her steadfast look have himself seen; In her wisdom he drowns happily; Celebrating  this great woman as his wife.. Happily living everafter forever...

Idhu.. Naan kanda pudumai Aanmagan .. ( This is the New Man that I dream of)

On Free Will

Surprisingly , this is a note that I have written about a year ago - cant remember what made me write this but definitely yes - it must have been a lesson i learnt by wrong application of my free will & ending up in a mess... Yet, it makes sense to me every moment of accomplishment & failure. Now for my thoughts....

Everything that happens to us out of our actions can be explained in the following context. Apply to all the situations you have been into - due to your actions ( It excludes situations that you get into without your intention like a fall,  accident etc etc) Its all about our  respective "spheres" and the extent of exercising our "free will" within that sphere  Problem starts when you are not conscious & aware of your respective spheres.. You identify the wrong sphere & exercise inapproppriate free will..  And we fail miserably..

So, how do you get into the right space?
  
 1. Do what makes YOU Dharmically  happy first  , your family happiness follows automatically. But remember - for an angry man, "anger" makes him happy , for a politician,  cheating makes him happy  & thats his Free Will within his mis-interpreted sphere  . Thats why I said "Dharmically"

2.  Never never get into "jealousy" and "envy" mode  . The minute you feel these, it means you have recognized your 'inferiority' . And, live to EXCEL and not to COMPETE. Jealousy & envy vanish automatically . The other man  is happy or  successful because He CHOSE to be SO & you didnt.

3.  Anger- Ideally avoid it but practically, you can get angry but before it recognises you, get OUT of it. Which means , you have a 'microsecond'  romancing with anger and thats all.

4. True enlightenment is when you go  back to reclaim what you renounced earlier ...  BUT you REACT  to the same events that made you renounce , "DIFFERENTLY" . In fact, ultimate reaction is "Non-Reaction".   Zendo helps..

Have i missed something... Yes - Never try to Understand & Interpret God - Just trust .. or choose to be an Atheist . Its eithr 0% or 100%. 

Working on strengths.. after understanding the limitations

Before I go on, I would request you to appreciate this, which is applicable to my past & the future blogposts : I use very simple words .. very simple thoughts . Because, I have always believed that everything in this world has its "simple form" of expression . Thats what everyone understands. I've learnt to reduce any problem into simpler components and then solve it - be it a personal problem or a professional. So, english enthusiasts, please bear with me..

The next step to understanding the limitations - "WORKING ON STRENGTHS. I believe that the most successful businesses are the ones where every resource is utilised to its best potential- note that i've used 'its' instead of 'the' and I hope you got the difference. Same with the most successful families. And thats probably why joint families worked wonders because there was a collective availability and deployment of resources.. A wonderful division of labour was possible.
Everyone has strengths & weaknesses. And its all about balancing these. Can we call it the ' fish ,cat & the bird principle of co-existence ' . In a family, first step is to understand the strength of each including the kids.. We know that fish swims , birds fly & cats run. In their own environment , viz, water, air & land - they achieve the best. Interchange their jobs - they will fail miserably.. And , interchange their environment ..fish on land, cats in air & birds in water... they die. Same way, in a relationship, if we understand that my wife / husband ( well, you can add all the members of the family here) excels in "this action" in this environment ' and use their strength for the common cause of overall family welfare, we would only keep moving ahead - financially as well as socially.. Ideally, the family will be a bunch of "experts" with a single goal. We would not be forcing our child to do engineering when he wants to become an archeologist, we will not make our wife a four wall show-piece when she aspires to be a fashion designer, we will not force our husband to become like the next door CEO when he wants to become a Life Coach.. And the worst is to realise 20 years later that we have wasted or lost an asset out of our own ego , arrogance or neglect . Your kid or wife or husband whom you didnt understand would have pardoned you.. But your conscience would never.. Because, it never sleeps.. Laks

'Man Vs Woman' or 'Man & Woman'

I just now replied to a blog post where a year long discussion was going on "why conflicts between man & woman " and the recent one by someone claiming that "women are confused as to what they want". I've reproduced my thoughts which I sent to that particular group... Pl. blogpost your opinions too .. Laks

How does this sound to you ?
1. ' Man Vs Woman' 2. 'Man & Woman' . The simplest solution to all you have discussed is here- whether your lead your life as "man vs woman" or "man & woman" . Man vs woman- its always a competition as to who is bigger - in terms of anything - money, love, ego, respect .This is a parasitic life - an unhealthy competition - the root cause of all problems . But Man & Woman always means a peaceful co-existence. Each one trying to lift the other higher in all aspects.. Its a symbiotic relationship. There are three realities here:

1. Both at "man & woman" level of relationship - Life is beautiiful & they live happily ever after
2. One lives M&W and the other M vs W - Go on upto your tolerance levels - If one is unable t0 change the other, then QUIT.
3. Both M vs W - The best is to understand this initially and just Quit the relationship - its just not going to work out. And even if you dont quit initially - any time is the best time to QUIT in such relationships.
Life poses difficult situations - but its actually simple. Because, your objective in life is not to crib about difficulties but do the best in a given situation to make your "self" happy.
Even spiritually looking at things - Man & Women are equal "power stations" - the best that can happen is a synergy when they live as "Man & woman". But, with "Man Vs Woman" - I dont have to tell you - Its called "annihilation".

SHAKTIAM: Landmine life

SHAKTIAM: Landmine life: If a relationship cannot give that secure feeling that my next step would not be on a landmine.. its a fake relationship. There is no honest...

Landmine life

If a relationship cannot give that secure feeling that my next step would not be on a landmine.. its a fake relationship. There is no honesty in it.. no truth.. Its like we are cheating ourselves in the name of that "relationship" . The most successful relationships are those where each one works around the limitations of the other. Not the ASSUMED limitations.. I'm talking about the REAL limitations. This might look a little negative .. but this is a more realistic approach. We strengthen ourselves by what each other know. But what creates the first crack is an expectation surpassing the limitation of the other. Expectations get built around one's ability.. in any relationship. Limitation is the max efficiency one can perform that 'action' that he is able to do. When I say I cook well, you cannot assume me to be your personal "Nigella" . I cannot be your personal ' aishwarya rai' or ' sharukh' or even your personal 'man / woman next door' , who always appears better than me. In a husband-wife relationship, there is an acceptance of the limitations of each other , appreciation & strengthening of the specialities of each other , work within this premise - all happening in a warp of love. Do you feel this is idealistic? It just implies that you are not really HAPPY. Just introspect....

Women..

Women...

The Embodiment of divinity ;

The Personification of purity;

The Essence of moral values.

STRONG ..... by mind

BEAUTIFUL..... by heart

INVINCIBLE.... by anything known..

Sakhis.. I'm talking about us...Do you hear me?

The Re-launch

Evolving every moment is the best way of living.. And after a break of 4 years, I'm back here.. more evolved..more mature.. and more everything that this blog needs to make you feel LIVE in this space.. Welcome back to Shaktiam - the Eternal spirit in all of us who believe in BEING a woman and not just playing the woman...