If a relationship cannot give that secure feeling that my next step would not be on a landmine.. its a fake relationship. There is no honesty in it.. no truth.. Its like we are cheating ourselves in the name of that "relationship" . The most successful relationships are those where each one works around the limitations of the other. Not the ASSUMED limitations.. I'm talking about the REAL limitations. This might look a little negative .. but this is a more realistic approach. We strengthen ourselves by what each other know. But what creates the first crack is an expectation surpassing the limitation of the other. Expectations get built around one's ability.. in any relationship. Limitation is the max efficiency one can perform that 'action' that he is able to do. When I say I cook well, you cannot assume me to be your personal "Nigella" . I cannot be your personal ' aishwarya rai' or ' sharukh' or even your personal 'man / woman next door' , who always appears better than me. In a husband-wife relationship, there is an acceptance of the limitations of each other , appreciation & strengthening of the specialities of each other , work within this premise - all happening in a warp of love. Do you feel this is idealistic? It just implies that you are not really HAPPY. Just introspect....
Is it anything to do with " If i were you " kind of empathetic attitude... Because we find generally the attitude going overboard from understanding the limitations of the Better (Bitter) half to overestimating ones strengths in the process actually understating their ability and demotivating them in the end.
ReplyDeleteWhen there is a good understanding of the "limitations" , then the next step would be 1. work within the limitations to start with 2. Try and keep giving that encouragement to the other to challenge her/his own limitations 3. Then increase your expectation levels based on the new set of limitations. This is how they enrich each other .. This is exactly how two souls fly higher and higher in their limited lifetime to reach sublime heights in their relationship . Sounds Idealistic? It just implies that we need to introspect..
ReplyDeleteI guess the moment 'if I were you' shoes are worn, empathy is lost. We always tend to come up with something better, than the other because we are simply not operating in those given set of variables including the environment, the mental make up at that moment. The best would be to let the other person, be what he/she is and as the blogger puts it, ask them to face up to their limitations while constantly encouraging them.
ReplyDeleteBut again Idealistic, but when put in practice, yields amazing results in relationships.